the scatterbox organized

Re-post: 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

Yeah, I know it's awfully lazy of me to just slap up a re-post of someone else's post, but I couldn't resist.  The mister and I both have some years racked up in ye olde food service industry, especially him, and we can verify that all of these are true.  And if you or someone you know has ever eaten in a restaurant, live it, love it, and pass it on.

*****

13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You

by Reader's Digest Magazine, June 23, 2009

1. Avoid eating out on holidays and Saturday nights. The sheer volume of customers guarantees that most kitchens will be pushed beyond their ability to produce a high-quality dish.

2. There are almost never any sick days in the restaurant business. A busboy with a kid to support isn't going to stay home and miss out on $100 because he's got strep throat. And these are the people handling your food.

3. When customers' dissatisfaction devolves into personal attacks, adulterating food or drink is a convenient way for servers to exact covert vengeance. Some waiters can and do spit in people's food.

4. Never say "I'm friends with the owner." Restaurant owners don't have friends. This marks you as a clueless poseur the moment you walk in the door.

5. Treat others as you want to be treated. (Yes, people need to be reminded of this.)

6. Don't snap your fingers to get our attention. Remember, we have shears that cut through bone in the kitchen.

7. Don't order meals that aren't on the menu. You're forcing the chef to cook something he doesn't make on a regular basis. If he makes the same entrée 10,000 times a month, the odds are good that the dish will be a home run every time.

8. Splitting entrées is okay, but don't ask for water, lemon, and sugar so you can make your own lemonade. What's next, grapes so you can press your own wine?

9. If you find a waiter you like, always ask to be seated in his or her section. Tell all your friends so they'll start asking for that server as well. You've just made that waiter look indispensable to the owner. The server will be grateful and take good care of you.

10. If you can't afford to leave a tip, you can't afford to eat in the restaurant. Servers could be giving 20 to 40 percent to the busboys, bartenders, maître d', or hostess.

11. Always examine the check. Sometimes large parties are unaware that a gratuity has been added to the bill, so they tip on top of it. Waiters "facilitate" this error. It's dishonest, it's wrong-and I did it all the time.

12. If you want to hang out, that's fine. But increase the tip to make up for money the server would have made if he or she had had another seating at that table.

13. Never, ever come in 15 minutes before closing time. The cooks are tired and will cook your dinner right away. So while you're chitchatting over salads, your entrées will be languishing under the heat lamp while the dishwasher is spraying industrial-strength, carcinogenic cleaning solvents in their immediate vicinity.

From Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip-Confessions of a Cynical Waiter by The Waiter (Ecco/HarperCollins)

Good Eats

If you live pretty much anywhere east of the Mississippi, chances are that you had, as we did, a freaking gorgeous Saturday.  Aside from the pollen count flying off the charts, we couldn't have had a more awesome spring day here in ye olde Cackalack del Norte.  Bluey-blue sky, perfect temps, low-to-no-humidity (yet).  I also have a bit of bio-weirdness when it comes to temps in that I have about a 5-degree range of comfort: 75-80F.  Below starts to get a wee bit of a chill for me, and above gets too steamy.  I blame it on my coma-esque blood pressure levels.  But yesterday was perfection.  In my five states of living in this half of the country thus far, I have to say that this area, and really the southeast in general, is one of the best places in the states to experience spring. One of the main reasons is the awesome display of flora, which, here, takes the form of artsy tulips, crazy-blooming white, pink, and fuschia azaleas, masses of lavender wisteria, and my favorite, the dogwood trees.  They look like little white butterflies suspended in mid-air.  And all of this is everywhere.  Ever watch the Masters tournament?  That's what I'm talkin' about.

 

(image from tangledwing.wordpress.com)

Soon, the next phase will kick in to include the hydrangeas and magnolia trees in all their glory, too.  Absolute beautifulness.

To take advantage of the wonderful weather and the fact that we currently have a Jeep at our disposal, we took a morning drive over to the Carrboro Farmers' Market.  The Carrboro market really focuses on growers interested in pursuing more eco-friendly, sustainable practices.  Upon the suggestion of a friend, I recently read The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan, which instantly was added to my shelf of best books ever read.  It's basis is enlightening the reader to numerous ills of our society that can be traced to the industrial farming methods and processed foods that our culture has come to unfortunately embrace.  At the same time, it highlights the benefits of farming and eating food that is locally and sustainably grown, and in season.  I could write an entire post on this book, but I'll spare you my glorification.  All I can say is that this book has garnered incredible praise and should be required reading for everyone.  It may just change your life, and for some people, it may just save it.  His follow-up book, In Defense of Food, is an extension of this concept and is on my to-read list next.  Its focus: "Eat food.  Not too much.  Mostly plants."  I can't wait.

The market offers all kinds of wonderful sights and smells that make me want to drop a truckload of cash at every stall, which, unfortunately, I cannot do.  So we try to get some good dinner fixins for the week, like grass-fed beef, organic lettuce, fresh herbs and veggies, or, depending on schedules, just get little nibbles here and there.  This visit was a nibble visit, which is equally satisfying.  This week's catch:

 

Juicy, uber-fragrant strawberries, a jewel-toned anemone flowers, hearty tomatoes, cracked-wheat artisan bread, rosemary-lavender goat milk soap (that I can't stop sniffing the poo out of), and a hunk of mozzarella to finish off my caprese salads.  In the back is Mike's new t-shirt, featuring the original market logo from 30 years ago.  Not pictured was the slice of moist strawberry bread, sun-warmed cinnamon roll, and locally roasted fair-trade coffee that we downed for our breakfast while strolling the stalls.  Such a great morning.

To continue the yummy theme of the day, we got home and Mike whipped up scratch-made biscuits and sausage gravy using his great-grandmother's biscuit cutter.  Can we say tasty?  Looove the sea salt and cracked pepper on top. 

 

For dinner, it was chicken skewers with Mediterranean seasoning, sweet potato fries, and wild rice, finished off with wonderfully rich, homemade vanilla ice cream (May I recommend Ben & Jerry's recipe book?) topped with some of those fresh strawberries.

A very good day, indeed.

***

For those of you toodling around in the land of Twitter who have food fetishes of any kind, or are maybe a bit of a trivia geek like myself, here are some great follows, all curated by the same person:

• Foodimentary (various food facts)
• Cheesementary (mmm... cheese)
• Vegimentary (It's National Garlic Day!)
• Javamentary (coffee)
• Vinomentary (wine)
• Greenimentary (eco-tips and facts)
• FoodimentaryGuy (the curator's hodge-podge page)

Good stuff to entertain your brain.  Have a great week!

 

Haggis with a Side of Doughnuts

 

I recently had the good fortune to head up to Canada for a night to enjoy some of my favorite ear candy.  Enter the Haggis is a band based in Toronto, Ontario that has been on an ever-increasing wave of success for almost ten years.  Never heard of them?  Well, it's time to change all that.

I've had the pleasure of knowing the guys for six years now, and to see their metamorphosis has been nothing short of wonderful.  One reason you've likely never heard of them before is because they started out in their infancy as mostly a Celtic-genre band, playing and growing on the festival circuit (usually ones with the same theme), as well as small pubs and venues here and there.  Though living in Canada, they quickly realized how to capitalize on a few benefits associated with traveling the U.S. by hopping to and from towns in close proximity to each other.  As they traveled more, even to a handful of European gigs along the way, their fan base grew.  Also growing at the same time was their sound.

When the current band member lineup came to be around the year 2000, it brought in a colorful resume of talent.  New members with backgrounds and interests in jazz, latin, celtic, prog rock, classic rock, and traditional Canadian sounds were suddenly melded together, which to many, would seem worthy of an audible antacid.  The happy surprise is that the result is just the opposite.  As the guys describe it, their name has come to be synonymous with their sound: random elements mixed together to form something pleasingly palatable.

With the increase in their popularity, ETH has popped up in great places like The Kennedy Center, the soundtrack for the indie flick 10 MPH (support these flimmakers!), a live concert broadcast on PBS, A&E's Breakfast with the Arts, Live with Regis & Kelly, and most recently, Canada AM, performing The Litter and the Leaves:

Their newest release, Gutter Anthems, is, in my not-so-humble opinion, their most ambitious, unapologetic, and professional compilation yet.  One of my all-time favorite artists is Billy Joel, primarily because of the great storytelling in his lyrics.  ETH has been another all-timer of mine for not only coughing up some of my favorite ballads and crunchy rock tunes, but also for following that same lyrical formula, which they do exceptionally well again on Anthems.  The other aspect that immediately caught my attention on this release is the thorough use of sublime vocal harmonies, for which I am most certainly a sucker.

All that said, it's time to shove some Haggis in your ears and see what I'm spouting off about.  Right now, they are offering up the entire Gutter Anthems CD for a free listen on their website, a very tasty treat, indeed.  If you need more of a free fix to see where they've come from, check out their page on UFO, their record label's website, where you can listen to all four of their most recent releases on the audio player.    Need more linkage?  Find them also on MySpace, Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook.  Then go to their main website, find out when they're playing near you, and get thee to a show.  If there's one thing to be said about ETH, it's that if you like their recorded sound, even just a little bit, their live sound promises to be slap-your-mamma good.

***

As for that side of doughnuts...

ESPN today has been broadcasting their coverage of the local, incredibly fun, Krispy Kreme Challenge that we participated in, as mentioned previously.  The network had their very own Greg Garber pony up to the contest, though he squeaked in just a few minutes shy of the one hour mark.  How he did all of that in a suit and tie, with commentary, and not offer up any road cookies is beyond me.

The GREAT feature narrative clip can be seen HERE.

And this is Greg Garber's personal account:

Have a great week!

Glazed Over

The sugar rushes, upset stomaches, and sore muscles are gone.  So, too, is this year's Krispy Kreme Challenge.

As mentioned earlier, we participated in this year's event, which began in 2004 with a mere 12 friends.  This past Saturday's event included not only over 5,200 participants, both locals and outta-towners, but ESPN coverage, as well.  With temps warming into the low 60s, all was bright in preparation for the Running of the Insane. 

Not only was it shocking to see how many turned out for this event, but the colorful array of entrants certainly added to the atmosphere.  There were a few guys running in just shoes, socks and Speedos (cape optional).  Girls wearing prom dresses.  Costumed superheroes.  A three-legged dog.  A (ex-?)soldier wearing fatigues, combat boots, and a full backpack of who-knows-what.  The guy dressed like Elvis.  Mullet wigs.  A gorilla costume.  Numerous runners wearing inflatable pool innertubes painted like doughnuts around their waist.  Students of Campbell University running with a strapped-on cardboard viking ship around them, five at a time.  Body painting.  And what appeared to be members of the UNC wrestling team... wearing only their too-tight,TMI team leotards.  It all was mildly reminiscent of the costumed gorge-fest of Marathon du Medoc, held in France (on my bucket list, for sure) that I'd learned about not long ago.  They all gathered around the start line, waiting for the tower to chime 9:30am.

  

I started out making an effort, but did not get too far on the whole "running" thing.  A little speed walking was more my style.  Mike was off making a go of it with some of his Footy friends, so we would rendezvous at Krispy Kreme, the halfway point.  Before I arrived, there were already runners making their way back on the second leg, returning to the bell tower and the finish line.  Not everyone was eating the full dozen doughnuts at the half; only those serious enough to be down with the challenge had to shove them all in before returning to the tower within the hour.  It was touch-and-go about whether or not Mike might make a go of the total twelve.  When I got to the Kreme, there were mobs of people gathered at the tiny store.  Some waiting for their boxes, some already stuffing their faces.  There were speed eaters, water-dunkers, pile-smashers.  There were boxes and stray pastries everywhere, amidst the already-forming puke hazards on the pavement.  You could see the anguish on faces drizzled with sweat, though whether the perspiration came from the physical exertion or the glucose overdose was not certain.  I finally spied Mike with one of his friends, he was actually doing it; scarfing down the last of his box.

 

Not everyone had the same fortune...

 

Defeat.

Needless to say, the over-eager beavers that were all in a hurry to run their way to the store were a much different crowd on the way back.  The ratio of runners to walkers did almost a complete 180.  I was still walking myself, but being that I was smart and only had two doughnuts, I was still in relatively good form.  My butt was way too out of shape to deal with anything else that morning besides seeing if my legs would hold up for four miles.  I even passed by Mr. Mullet Man.

 

Finally, everyone made their way back to the tower...

... where they patted themselves on the back, listened to the awards ceremony, and enjoyed some good tunes provided by the Jambulance.

HILARIOUS.

The winner received a doughnut medal.  And five more boxes of doughnuts.

To see some amazing photos captured by the NC State newspaper staff, click HERE!

Their official video is HERE...

And for a cute look at some pre-race footage:

"How To KKC" from Matt at Wolf TV on Vimeo.

Can't wait till next year.  Costumed, perhaps...?

Banana Crack

My husband loves banana pudding.  LOVES banana pudding.  Me?  I'm just meh.  The problem is that bananas are just ok in my world.  I eat them because I know they're insanely good for you, but once I get past the halfway mark, the compounding taste does me in.  However, I do love me some pudding.  This makes them doable when combined, but I'm more interested in the banana flavor of the pudding (and the whipped topping, Nilla wafers...) than the actual chunkage.  I do not like fruit chunks in my puddin'.  Therefore, banana pudding usually = meh.

With our preferences now documented, I would like to talk about Southern Living magazine.  We have received a gift subscription every Christmas since we got married, and recently decided that in our periodical purging, we would let that one expire, as well.  Then we got the notice in the mail that it had been renewed again this past holiday, so we decided to roll with it one more year.

Good thing.

While I mentioned that my husband is a huge fan of banana pudding, it must also be stated that he is a huge fan of all things peanut butter, as well.  Now, he doesn't go around snacking on Elvis delights or anything, but should the combinable opportunity present itself wisely, he would no doubt indulge.  So when the February issue of Southern Living appeared in our mailbox and I glanced down at the cover, I knew it would be a happy day for him. 

There, sprawled across the front as the featured recipe, right under the title, were the words "Mmm!  Nutter Butter Banana Pudding".

Are you kidding me?  Banana pudding and NUTTER BUTTERS???  Even I got excited over that combo.  Sure enough, a trip to the grocery store was in order.  What followed was almost too much to handle with one spoon.

This. stuff. is. RIDICULOUS.

So ridiculous, in fact, that I had to share the recipe.  Despite the fact that I ate as little chunkage as possible, the banana flavor combined with the chilled, softened Nutter Butters is beyond words.  Get yourself a pen and paper and jot this one down, because I guarantee it will move to the top of your stack.

From this site: http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=1873387

 

Nutter Butter Banana Pudding Trifle

• 3 cups milk

• 3 large eggs

• 3/4 cup sugar

• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour

• 2 tablespoons butter

• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

• 5 medium-size ripe bananas

• 1 (1-lb.) package peanut butter sandwich cookies

• 2 cups sweetened whipped cream

• Garnishes: peanut butter sandwich cookies, dried banana chips, fresh mint sprigs

Whisk together first 4 ingredients in a large saucepan over medium-low heat. Cook, whisking constantly, 15 to 20 minutes or until thickened. Remove from heat; stir in butter and vanilla until butter is melted.

Fill a large bowl with ice. Place saucepan in ice, and let stand, stirring occasionally, 30 minutes or until mixture is thoroughly chilled.

Meanwhile, cut bananas into 1/4-inch slices. Break cookies into thirds.

Spoon half of pudding mixture into a 3-qt. bowl or pitcher. Top with bananas and cookies. Spoon remaining pudding mixture over bananas and cookies. Top with sweetened whipped cream. Cover and chill 2 to 24 hours. Garnish, if desired.

Note: For testing purposes only, we used Nabisco Nutter Butter® Sandwich Cookies. For photography, we divided mixture between 2 (1 1/2- to 2-qt.) wide-mouthed pitchers.

Shortcut Nutter Butter®-Banana Pudding Trifle: Omit eggs, sugar, flour, and butter. Substitute thawed extra creamy whipped topping for sweetened whipped cream. Reduce vanilla to 1 tsp. Place 3 cups milk and vanilla in large bowl; add 2 (3.4-oz.) packages vanilla instant pudding mix. Beat with an electric mixer at medium speed 2 minutes or until thickened; let stand 5 minutes. Stir in 1 (8-oz.) container sour cream. Proceed with recipe as directed in Steps 2 through 4.

Note: For testing purposes only, we used Jell-O Vanilla Instant Pudding and Pie Filling and Cool Whip Extra Creamy.

Makes 8 to 10 servings (Yeah, ok...)

Elvis would be so proud.

You are what you read

This quote was emphasized to me recently while watching You've Got Mail for the 856th time.  It was emphasized because it's so true, at least in my case.  I used to read a lot when I was little, then not so much in middle and high school, then again a bit in college, but not much outside of class assignments, though they were very good reads.  Then, years later, along comes a book called Harry Potter and I found myself back in the swing of things once again.  I'm not the fastest reader, and sometimes I have to consciously make an effort to remember to set aside time to do so, but I'm remembering how much I liked it.  I have many fond memories of summers hanging out in the children’s section of our cute little neighborhood library back home.

 

You are what you read.  I enjoy reading for the mindless escape, which just adds to the “pink sky world” that my husband tells me I dwell in.  I think there is enough heavy subject matter to be found in the news that I can safely reserve book time for something usually more... pleasantly simplistic.  I do sometimes envy people like my friend Abby, who reads pretty much everything under the sun, it seems (she IS a librarian, after all), or my husband, who bounces between technical thrillers like his favorite Michael Crichton novels (did you know he just recently died?!?) or the latest political biography, such as John Adams, Giants, Mao, or American Lion, but I know that's not me.  One of my happy places has become the bookstore.  We have a Barnes & Noble across the street, and I find I can completely lose track of time there, even if I’m not buying anything.  Since that first Harry Potter installment, I’ve read a small handful of individual books that I’ve liked, but find comfort in ones that are series.  The Ya-Ya Sisterhood books were a good time (I still have yet to crack open the third one), I loved The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons, and in the last couple years, I’ve come to learn that mysteries are my favorite genre.  But not just any mysteries.  I seem to have a penchant for quirky, themed storylines, and oddly enough for this non-cooker, ones with recipes.  None of which are Pulitzer-winning, heavy reading by any stretch, mind you, but they make me happy.

 

The first series to get a chuckle out of my husband is from Joanne Fluke.  They revolve around Hanna Swensen, a cookie shop owner in a small Minnesota lake town, where they, of course, have a highly unusual amount of murders.  But the character is so down-to-earth and relatable that I can't help it!  And I'm all into the lives of these people at this point.  To top it off, there are usually close to a dozen cookie and dessert recipes sprinkled throughout.  Yes, I have made some, and yes, they are yummy.  So beginning with Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder, I have made my way through the subsequent Strawberry Shortcake, Blueberry Muffin, Lemon Meringue, Fudge Cupcake, Sugar Cookie, Peach Cobbler, Cherry Cheesecake, and Key Lime Pie Murder books.  I'm waiting for Carrot Cake to come out in paperback, which will undoubtedly be about the same time that the new Cream Puff Murder hardback arrives on shelves.  :)

In waiting for Carrot Cake Murder, I had to get another fix.  This time, I found Cleo Coyle.  Similarly enough, the main character in this series, Claire Cosi, runs a Greenwich Village coffee house... and there are recipes in it, as well as bits of nifty coffee knowledge.  I just finished On What Grounds today, with Through the Grinder next in line.  The eighth installment is due out this year, and it seems I'm officially hooked and have some catching up to do.

I also had my interest piqued by another series, although sadly, no recipes.  This one is by the British author Christopher Fowler, with a set of mysteries involving the Peculiar Crimes Unit.  I will come clean and say that the cover art (apparently newly re-designed) on the books sold me.  I admit that I’m one of those people who does judge books by the cover, or at least is more inclined to find out more about them.  When looking at the synopsis and finding out there was humor thrown in, sarcastic humor, at that, I decided I needed to give it a whirl.  I’m sure these will compound my desire to visit London.  The first one up is Full Dark House.  We’ll see how it goes!

 

Though I don’t really read from it, I took a stroll through the B&N children’s section the other day.  My mother-in-law apparently thinks that I’d be a good children’s book writer for some reason.  Given my other penchant for having a bit of a sassy potty mouth and that I'm not exactly a kid person, it would be an interesting undertaking, though not entirely inconceivable (reference that pink sky I mentioned earlier).  Anyhoo… While strolling the aisles and reminiscing on some of my own childhood favorites like Richard Scarry and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, I came across two modern books that I may seriously have to buy for myself.  They are from the illustrator/author Brian Lies; one is called Bats at the Beach and the other is Bats at the Library.  SO CUTE.  And the stories are adorable.  I can’t get over how much I’m in love with his artwork and the faces on the bats that made them almost look like little mice with wings.  Not to mention the scene in Library where, similar to the cliché of photocopying your butt at a party, the bats were having a good time making xeroxes of themselves splayed out on the glass.  If you know of any children in need of a good read, I highly recommend them.

 

Aside from sitting in Barnes & Noble for longer than I should, I also like losing time in the Caribou Coffee across the street, or any coffeehouse for that matter.  That also explains my interest in the Cleo Coyle book series.  It’s definitely an indulgence for the senses that seems to be getting stronger.  For Christmas, Mike got a Bialetti Moka Express.  It’s the one-cup version, which makes it nice to have just enough when it's just yourself and not have to break out the bigger coffee maker.

 

 

I’d seen them in stores before, paying little attention, but we had a larger one to use every day when we were in Italy recently.  It makes a very tasty cup, a stronger, espresso-style coffee, but I have to say that my favorite part is the stinking adorable little mustache man on it, known as "L’Omino".  His little pointy-finger stance is a trip, and I can’t help but to occasionally bust out an impersonation of him.  Minus the mustache, of course.  Although, I am Italian.

 

With my first Coyle book now finished, as well as my yummy coffee with a side of gingersnaps, it’s time to get back to the real world.  For now…

It's on like Donkey Kong

The 2008 5th Annual Krispy Kreme Challenge.

On Saturday, February 9th, it is back. What started out as a throw-down between twelve friends in 2004 has very quickly turned into one of the most popular charity events of the area.  Last year's event drew 3,000 participants.  What's all the hoo-ha, you ask?

Imagine, if you will, a chilly winter morning in Raleigh...  A gathering at the bell tower on the campus of N.C. State University...  You stretch your limbs and run (or puss-out and walk) two miles to your destination: The local Krispy Kreme factory shoppe.  Awaiting you there is one dozen beautiful, melt-in-your-mouth, Hot Now doughnuts.  (Not familiar with the Hot Now?  You have my sympathies.) 

But this is not your reward. 

Your shining moment comes when you shove ALL twelve rings down your gullet and haul ass another two miles back to the bell tower.  If you finish, you can proudly annoint yourself a winner of The Challenge.

It's a thing of genius.

Missing out on last year's event, I have made the decision to enter this year's contest with my partner in crime.  I've already started my training by partaking in a doughnut or two nearly every day at work where we always have a stash on hand.  Any other physical training?  Ahhh, no.  Because, well... "running"... isn't really my thing.  But the doughnuts are.  Not to mention that the proceeds are donated to the N.C. Children's Hospital.  Bonus!  We will be participating with a few other members of the Carolina Rollergirls, some who are now seasoned veterans of this showdown, and some who actually pony up and run it like it's meant to be run. 

Last year, for the 2008 4th annual event, there was a promo video put out featuring scenes from the 2007 run:

My favorite is the 2007 promo featuring the 2006 footage, which so wonderfully depicts the beautiful agony.  And puking.

Stay tuned for the follow-up report.

Planetary motion and other Thanksgivingness

This is going to be a long one, but first things first:

GO OUTSIDE AND CHECK OUT THE MOON!!!

For realz - According to the good folks at space.com, tonight is a rare night for those geekily fascinated with astronomy, like yours truly.  The moon will be very slim, and to the right of it will be two super-bright "stars" that are really planets: Venus is the brightest one at the bottom, and Jupiter(!) is the next-brightest to the upper-right.  I've always known you could see Venus in the sky.  Or at least I've known it was something non-stellar.  I was poorly misinformed a while back that the brightest object in the sky besides the moon was the sun's reflection off the space station.  Not a bad theory, until I questioned it earlier this year while at NC State's planetarium show and the knowledgeable host corrected me.  Either way... HOW COOL.

I can't stop staring at it.  Like all of a sudden, they are going to start swirling around like a laser-pointer show or something.  Of course, I had to take a picture.  Couldn't get the tripod in the right spot on the balcony to get a non-flash shot, which would have also captured the shadow of the moon's full orb (also cool).  So I went with flash, and at least you can see a little bit of the craters when you zoom in.  Do you have binoculars at home?  You can totally see craters on the moon with them!  I have not done this before.  Hence my elementary giddiness. 

Here's my attempt at night sky photography without knowing any better how to get a more professional photo.  Exibit A is the moon on the left (just seeing if you're skimming...).  Exibit B is the bright spot at the bottom, Venus.  And exibit C to the upper-right is Jupiter.  Did I say cool?  COOL.

 

Now that I've uploaded it, it doesn't do justice to the largeness and brightness of the planets.  Boo.  Maybe you can click on it and see it in better quality.  Anyhoo, on with the show.

*****

SO!  Where were we...  Ah, Thanksgivingness.  Ours was actually celebrated (i.e. "face-stuffed") the weekend prior to said holiday.  I had to work on Turkey Day proper, so we went to my home-Land-of-Cleve to celebrate with my family.  We had gotten warnings of proper attire for our suitcases, which meant only one thing:

SNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Driving up, we didn't really hit the good stuff until about a half-hour from our destination, but it did not disappoint.  It was already dark, but in the tradition of my favorite winter-evening memories, it was very heavy on the branches, making them all look fluffy white, and the sky was just a bit lighter than normal.  When you stood outside, there was the familiar chilly, yet cozy, silence in the air of being cocooned in a snowy blanket.  The following morning was no exception, as my favorite huge chunky snow drifted slowly and peacefully from the sky.

 

Then it stopped, eventually started to melt a stitch, and like an idiot, I realized I didn't get outside to take more pictures in its prime.  *le sigh*

Saturday was our turkey day!  A day when I usually avoid what's going on in the kitchen (I'm a non-cooker, for all the new readers out there).  The mister (my resident chef) offered up his services to prepare not only our bird, but six casserole-dish-sized side items, as well.  Being the culinary geek that HE is, your usual fare was not good enough.  Consulting the pages of Bon Apetit and Food & Wine, the smells of this year's feast began to fill up the joint.  His chosen theme was to make dishes reminiscent of what would have been had back in the day when the pilgrims were kissing up to the native Americans.  (You know, prior to the whole robbing-them-of-their-way-of-life thing that followed.)  The turkey was a purdy sight, slathered with a sweet citrusy glaze on the outside.

 

I'm serious here, people.  That is the actual turkey he made.  Cookies aside, there should be no question why I'm keeping him around.  After dinner, we had a mini-birthday celebration for Mr. Chef.  Since he did not have time (or room) to also add on the task of making dessert (JEEZ!), we purchased a peach pie and the ever-nummy Breyer's vanilla bean ice cream.  One of his gifts was a pair of tickets to the following day's Cleveland Browns home game downtown, which really just made it like my birthday instead. :)

Sunday morning, we geared up.  Swiss-Miss hat?  Check.  Ski coat and gloves?  Check.  Butt-warming bean-filled chair cushion?  Check.  Super-thick Mexican-style wool blanket?  Check Check.  Time to head to town! 

Let it be known that I love me some Cleveland, Ohio.  Trash if you will, but I'm a dyed-in-the-wool fan.  Granted, I don't live there anymore and may not ever again, but I have very fond memories.  Not so much the ones driving in the aforementioned snow after the holidays (when I have not-quite-as-nice sentiments about it and its determination to linger for an additional 3-4 months), but good ones, nonetheless.  One of those memories was heading downtown to check out the lights and sights the day after Thanksgiving, for which we were just a bit early this time around.  It was still good to see the city continuing its quest to breathe life into the heart of itself once again, as it had done in the past.  New shops and restaurants, and lots and lots of renovated space in the buildings with their wonderful architecture.  On our walk to the stadium, an orange awning that I never-before recalled caught my eye.  Could it be a deli?  We hadn't eaten yet, so we decided to check it out.

JACKPOT.

How have I never seen this or been here before???  The Sportsman's Deli.  You couldn't have picked a more perfect place to gnosh before an early-winter football game in a steel-belt town.  I'd show you the website, but based on the un-renovated interior of the establishment, they might not know how to operate a computer yet, let alone get that fancy.  And I wouldn't want them to.

 

See inside the window, to the right of the neon football helmet?  That's one of those old-fashioned Tiffany-esque bar lamps.  Except surely no where else can you find ones emblazoned solely with the words "CORN BEEF" on one and "PASTRAMI" on the other.  In stained glass.  Awesome.  All in a lovely shade of 70s orange to match the awning outside and Browns uniforms nearby.  Inside was the warmth of grandma's sweet basement plywood paneling and tons of local sports memorabilia on the wall.  Fill it up with salt-of-the-earth blue-collar good folk clad in their Brownie best, shove down a plate of "world's-finest" corned beef (yes, it was pretty damn good), and you couldn't ask for anything more on such a fine Lake Erie morning.  I probably was the only chick in there besides the wait staff, but who cares.  I wanna go back.

 

I had not yet been inside the new Cleveland Browns stadium.  I have fond memories of going, very young, with my dad to watch games in the upper-deck of the old stadium, metal girders blocking half of your view, icy wind whipping around inside like a vortex, sucking down hot chocolate from our thermos, and sopping up the infamous Stadium Mustard (go order you some) on a dog or two.  They were good times.  The new digs were wonderful.  Completely open and in the same location, but somehow the wind wasn't as menacing.  You aren't allowed to bring in a thermos anymore and you go through security on your way in (compliments of 9/11), but the magic is still there.  A sea of brown and orange, awesomely sarcastic and cynical fans who will never stop being fans, even when the team chokes... yet again, and the intense hatred for the Steelers, even when they aren't the ones on today's lineup.  Cups of hot chocolate and gobs of stadium mustard later, we left, very satisfied.

On the way back, we stopped by Public Square and Tower City, which was once home to the wonderful Higbee's department store.  We always went into Higbee's on our Black Friday visits, and I'll never forget the high, white walls, huge chandeliers, and swags of red curtains and christmas lights.  I remember up on the tenth floor of the building was where kids could go in to a special store of their own and shop for their parents while they waited for them outside the doors.  Today, Higbee's is sadly gone.  In it's place is a less-exciting office, though they did smartly keep the white walls and chandeliers of the old days.  For those of you who are huge Christmas Story fans like my Mister, you'll know that Higbee's is the department store featured at the beginning of the movie.  You can see the curtains and chandeliers in the scenes where Ralphie and his brother visit Santa after the parade on Public Square.  In keeping with tradition, and especially given that this is the 25th anniversary of that classic flick, they decorate the infamous window where Ralphie and his friends drooled over the Red Rider BB gun.  This past weekend was the commemorative Christmas Story weekend, complete with cast reunion and visits to the old yellow house, recently bought, renovated, returned to its former color, and turned into a museum.

That night was relaxing as we headed over to Sarah's Vineyard, a winery and gallery inside an old 1846 farmhouse.  We brought along a bunch of appetizers to eat while sampling a few bottles of their reds and whites.  You totally feel like you're intruding, bringing in shopping bags with all your food, plates, and napkins, but that's exactly what they want you to do.  Just relax.  It was very nice surrounding yourself with the old wood, arts and crafts.  Stay till the end of the night like we did, and you can meet Stanley and Frontenac (like the grape), the resident brother doggies.

On Monday, we drove to Medina, a town that I'd never actually been to in all my years there.  It has a very cute downtown square area, and was all decorated with white twinkly lights in every shop window.  Lunch was at (highly-recommended) Dan's Dogs, a diner with something like 50 types of super-cheap and super-tasty hot dog topping combos on the menu, decorated in 50s era diner style.  We also stopped by Root Candle's amazing shop, which was full of fantastic home items that the decorator in me wanted to splurge on.  The company has a niftly little history, as well.

It was a good weekend.  Then, alas, it was Tuesday, which meant facing the 8-hour return drive home.  Just in time, however, the snow came back once more to say goodbye.

 

PDX-ing it

The City of Roses, Portland, Oregon.

I hear there's a nice-looking mountain there, but I wouldn't know.  The entire three days we spent in town was typical of what people east of the Mississippi think of when they think of the Pacific Northwest: cloudy, rainy.  The forecast was just that for the entire week and then some.  But to be there and explore the city, you almost don't notice that you haven't seen or felt the sun.  We'd never been to this part of the country, and we still have yet to visit Seattle, also on our to-do list.  (For the time being, I'm feeding off of my friend Abby's description, as she was there just prior to our arrival in the next state below.)  I've heard nothing but wonderful things about both cities, and it was time to find out why.

Prior to flying out, I happened to catch that the PDX airport was voted #1 in Conde Naste Traveler.  Very interesting, given it's size and location, but I'd have to agree.  Cute shops, lots of local flair, and honestly, the freaking nicest TSA people I've ever seen in my life.  Made you almost want to hide a screwdriver in your pocket just so you could spend more time chatting with them.  But I digress...  One of the top things on my list that every major city should have is a well-used and well-planned transit system, and I don't mean just buses.  Portland is no exception in this area.  It was nice to be there the entire time, see what needed to be seen, and not have to worry about renting a car because of their fabulous rail system.  Given a few more days, we'd have explored even further.

 

That's Mike with the black eye I gave him.  Just kidding!

Maybe.

The first day was pretty short.  We arrived in the afternoon and just decided to wander around the streets of the downtown and surrounding areas aimlessly, thanks to the trusty map purchased at the airport-edition of the infamous Powell's Books.  Since we were just getting familiar with things and hadn't even checked into our hotel yet, we only stayed out until dusk.  After a crantastic bowl of mac & cheese at a noodle joint (perfect on the drizzly cold day that it was), we headed back to our hotel on the north side of town.  We figured we'd slum around the room for the rest of the night, mainly to watch the election results.  We had gotten in line shortly after 6am that morning to vote before hopping over to the airport for our 8am flight. 

I still can't get over the ginormous sea of people in Chicago to greet Obama (YES!!!) when he made his winning speech.  Definitely a proud time in our history and one that, if only for a moment, put a shine on the turd that is our country's appeal right now.  Even with the speech over, we stayed tuned in waiting for our current home state of North Carolina to declare a winner.  Waiting.  And waiting.  And waiting, like watching for a color change on some political pregnancy test.  Eventually we passed out, seeing as how results had been posted for the entire west coast AND Hawaii, while NC was still sitting in the gray, all alone in the sea of red and blue.  I still don't know what the hold-up was.  Yes, it was close, but when you're posting 100% return and one number is bigger than the other...  Either way, the Tar Heel state eventually turned a nice shade of blue.  Even if it was close, I think it's nice to see that the state has become pleasantly mixed rather than predominently red, especially for a confederate state.  Times, they are a-changin'.

SO!  Back to Portland...

Day 2 got us up early since we were still a little messed up on the time change, but it gave us a chance to hop into the Columbia sporting goods store to get some coverage for our chilly heads and ears.  Right after our purchase, we jumped across the street to meet Brad, our tour guide from Portland Walking Tours.  We were signed up for the Best of Portland tour, which had apparently won some awards.  Brad was great, very patient with certain members of our group, and we definitely learned why so many are flocking to this area.  The city's focus on being green is phenomenal in every aspect.  Did you know that they voluntarily, and without government support, MOVED a highway across the river to reduce the number of cars in the downtown area?  Now you do.  One of the other tours the company offers is the Epicurean Excursion.  We would have been totally signed up for that on the same day, except it's only a Friday/Saturday thing.  I can't even imagine -- walking around town for four hours straight indulging and imbibing on the city's finest.  We have to go back for that tour alone.

Despite the temperature and the weather ("just like a Portland winter" we were told), it was still nice for fall.  We now understand why coffee boomed in this part of the country, as we drank a lot of it.  And judging by the sight of a Starbucks on every other corner, I can't even fathom what Seattle looks like.  Our first culinary stop was the downtown location of Old Town Pizza, the "it" spot for a quality piece of pie, and so it was.  We could have definitely taken care of a few more personal pizzas, but we had other stops to make.  The next one was Cacao, a most wondrous all-things-chocolate boutique, which is straight up my alley.  After being mesmerized by the different arrays of bars and beans and truffles from all over, I settled on balsamic vinegar ganache topped with pear jelly, covered in dark chocolate.  Uh... YUM.  To "wash" it down, I opted for a shot of what had to be their most hard-core drinking chocolate.  And by drinking chocolate, if you've never had one, we're not talking hot chocolate.  It's literally like someone just put a bar in the microwave and you drank the results.  I can't imagine what drinking a whole cup would be like, because even I was struggling towards the end.  Part of it was the chili and other spices added that actually gave the back of your throat a little burn.  But it was soooo gooood.

 

Our other culinary must-see that day was the infamous Voodoo Doughnut, often featured on Food Network.  Known for their crazy-awesome toppings (Tang, bubble gum, assorted breakfast cereals, etc.) and alternative style, it was sure to please.  This is me being a dorkus outside wearing my fabulous new hat that looks like I should be doing an advertisement for Swiss Miss cocoa.  Or at least speaking in a bad Swedish accent.  Oh wait, I did...

Though I do wish ours were a little closer to the fresh-from-the-oven timeframe, it was a good gnosh.  First we downed the No Name (Rice Krispies/PB/chocolate), then the Dirty Snowball, the Cap'n Crunch, and the grand finale, the Maple Bacon Bar.  Yes, we split them.

 

 

It was a good day of exploring.  We hit up the aforementioned landmark of Powell's Books, found the great shops of Buffalo Exchange and Billy Galaxy, and fell in love with the hella-priced Pearl District residential area.  At night we ate some locally-grown grub, went to a beer sampling (have you figured out yet that we like to eat and drink?), and snapped away at the numerous new and vintage neon signage.  We had an afternoon flight the next morning, but still found some time to cruise around the downtown a little bit more.  Despite the weather, you can't beat the offerings of this city (tax-free, WHAAAT!), and the region in general.  The people are all phenomenal, and we had more than one person offering us help when we seemed lost.  We decided it has the feel of a great mix of Asheville, Boston, and Baltimore.  Can't wait to see more.  And maybe that mountain, too, next time.

State fair - Oh, how do I love thee?

Let me count the ways...

Check:

CHECK:

D O U B L E  C H E C K:

Because really - We all know that regular pecan pie is a completely heart-healthy item that couldn't be damaged by a little dredging in a quarter inch of spongy casing and slathering of powdered sugar.  So good.

But seriously, folks, the state fair rules.  Key to the whole enjoyment is going on a Monday night, as we did, to avoid the mass crowds that plow through on the weekends.  Though I did again miss the demolition derby by going this route, where my Carolina Rollergirls are always represented by a decorated entry, but it's always a quality time, nonetheless.  Top-notch people watching, fat-food gorging (split amongst us, so that we didn't come off as complete gluttons*), sketchy vomit-inducing rides, annoying skill-game carnies, and sideshow freakage.  What's not to love?

*(On a side note, if you look up "glutton" in the thesaurus as an adjective, it offers the substitutions of "crapulent" and "crapulous" to essentially describe being joyfully tipsy.  These words are absolutely now part of my vocabulary.)

State fairs also tend to bring out the child, or in this case, the dork, in all of us:

 

Inside the main building were the 4-H displays, which include loverly entries like canned dried blueberries, grandma's red velvet cake, and the seed-bead tapestry of the logo for the sci-fi movie Serenity (I kid you not), all on display in the hopes of taking home that blue ribbon.  Speaking of ribbons, there was a table sectioned off, complete with stanchioned velvet ropes to queue gawkers, of all the entries for the artsy fartsy cakes that I love so very much.  All were splendid to look at, but two stood out to me.

First was this beauty, where the entrant chose the fair itself as the theme.  I hope you can click on it to open it larger and check out the awesome details, including the top layer featuring the giddy hot dog sitting on a pile of french fries.

   

But the coolest of them all, and garnering that coveted blue ribbon, thank you very much, is a nod to my penchant for all crafty things bacon and eggs. 

Behold the power of breakfast:

 

Are you kidding me???  Bacon, eggs, AND pancakes, butter slabs and a side of oranges???  I WANT THIS CAKE.  I want it want it want it.  My birthday is in a few months.  Order it now to save on the headaches later.

Ahh, the fair.  It wraps up this weekend, unfortunately.  Maybe I should check the calendar to see when they're going down in a neighboring state...

Until next time, my friends, peace out.